It feels so daunting to think of the future when the now is full of smoke, injustice, illness, and uncertainty.   One thing quarantine has taught me is to be ok being uncomfortable and uneasy because that is the reality.  But it hasn’t taken away from my need to keep hope lit.

I want to be excited and have plans.  I want to look forward to something. 

Has anyone asked you, where do you see yourself in 3, 5, and 10 years?
What is your reaction? 
I dreaded those questions because I felt I had to have a perfect idea of where, how, and what I  saw myself doing.  When in reality I was having a hard time figuring out what I was going to do today.

Sometimes it is a matter of looking at it differently.  I came across a practical exercise, write about the future like you are already in it.  What does it look like?    Where are you at?  What are you doing?  Who are you with? What do you smell, feel, taste?  The same idea of the long term questions in a playful way that I personally could digest better.

So, baby steps, in 1 year, I am refreshed from a good night of sleep,  I do my morning ritual.  I am ready as the kids come down for breakfast.  B is headed to the office too. Chores are a breeze while I listen to an insightful podcast.  By 10 am I am in the studio.  Looking at the paintings from last week with renewed eyes and figure out the last details to add.  I remote co-work with a friend to tackle the blog and newsletter that have gotten, so juicy and insightful.  At lunch, I have some leftovers from a slow-cooked Sunday dinner with a big salad.  I take Rusty on a good walk and get back to the studio.  I put my painting apron on, it has gotten so much softer and so stained with paint, I love it!   I paint those finishing details, I am proud of how my work has evolved.  The kids are starting to get home from school.  We sit at the breakfast bar eating some popcorn and I just listen.  Everyone goes to have their needed alone time, so I get back in the studio for a short hour until is time to cook dinner.  Dinner today looks and tastes SO good, everyone is loving meatless Monday nowadays! Some helped clean up, others were reading out loud for our family scripture study.  Everyone goes to finish their homework, I sneak some time with B to talk.  Then 1 more hour in the studio and lights go off.  10:30 good night!

Okay, that may be more than you wanted to know, but it was fun to write.  I feel like I am getting this grown-up thing now,  it is becoming easier to evaluate and review what has happened, being intentional and present on what is happening, and take the clues from all that to be hopeful for the future.

How do you plan what you want to do next?